A Fathers Tip (Goal Setting is for everyone)

I love my son. One of the best things I appreciate with our relationship is communication. He talks to me. He is still a teen, meaning a rebel, a little awkward, unsure and doesn’t share every detail but he provides enough information that I can remember what I was going through in his place to give an appropriate response. All kids don’t share. Sometimes when trying to cross over from child to adult they feel like they are letting their parents down. They don’t know which way to go and will either take on someone else’s personality until they find their own or flounder. Floundering isn’t failure. It’s like a dolphin that got caught in the shallows. Make sure you are there to push them back into the deeper water. It will be subtle. They will not call out for help. You have to be looking at the “shoreline” ready to respond.

Some kids come out the box knowing that they want to be or think they want to be “X”. My variable for these dreams, i.e., doctor, lawyer, scientist, policeman, firemen, etc is the “X”. It is ok that some kids aren’t sure what they want to be when they grow up. Many adults aren’t sure now. I hear things like: What is my purpose? Why was I born? What am I supposed to do in life? These questions aren’t just asked by teens looking at college. The ones that don’t answer them become adults seeking the same answers. It all starts with goals. Goal setting was an over played buzzword of the ‘80’s motivational speaking rush. Not having a goal is just as critical today though as it was then. With a push to excel, a lack of direction can be devastating to a young ego.

What do you do if your kid says, “Am I a loser because I don’t know what I want to do?” Here’s a suggestion. Have the person asking the question take out a piece of paper (or type it on the computer) a list, as grand as possible, of everything and anything they would like to do in life. Call this page five. Think big.

On another page or another section, write/type things they/you would like to accomplish in ten years/five years. Label this as page four, type or write a big number four on the page somewhere. Old timers like me might think that some of your desires may be impossible but they are not so with God. If you are doing what you are supposed to do, He makes it happen. Bunch your dreams them together like grapes. Use a highlighter or pencil (do we still use these) to show similarities. This low hanging fruit can be your intermediate goals.

Now on yet another screen, paper, do an inventory of what you have and where you are now. This is page three. Like the others, type or write a big number three on the page somewhere.

The work and the effort to get you from page three through five are what make up pages two and one. For example, to be a doctor you will need considerable amount of college. You have to plan on where you want to go, how you are going to pay for it, and how you are going to live while you are doing it to get to page 3-5. This is your map. This is a rough idea of some steps required to get from A to B.

Even if you are on the right road, you’ll get hit by a truck if you just stand there. Move. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Sometimes you’ll move fast toward your goals and sometimes you will move so slow you think you are standing still but chance favors the prepared mind.

If you are over 16 years old and wonder what I should do with the rest of my life, I suggest the following exercise for you too. You are never too old, never late, and not an accident. My God doesn’t make them. So, I think you have work to do. What do you think?

Pastor Kenn