We get older every minute. Some of us are growing wider every week. I know you know this; I’m just here to remind you as I think about how miserable some of my friends are. That is sad. We all change. Sometimes as a married person, that change is not good. We can grow apart. We can grow callous, distant, aloof, and obtuse. Remember when the friends first became lovers, the sex was explosive, and the love passionate? Have you lost that loving feeling? Things didn’t change, we changed. Life happened.
I have heard that the difference between a grave and a rut are the ends. If you are in a rut with your marriage, don’t let it die. Don’t let dirt get on the ends as you lay there. You were an exciting, fun person to be around once. Don’t you remember? As a pastor, a husband and a father, I realize the importance of keeping my marriage healthy. It is not easy. Sometimes you don’t even like the person you live with. You still love them but something just ain’t right. The change is subtle. No one will notice right away. It is easy to let things slip. It is easy to take each other for granted. It is easy to wake up one day and think; I don’t want to be here anymore. It is easy to get bored in comparison to all that you see and think is going on in the world. But can I tell you something? People are not just the sum of their parts. I don’t like math but I discovered that Algebra best describes people.
Let’s put you in an imaginary equation. Your wife in her current state of being, moods and attitude is X. She “doesn’t like this, and she is tired of this…” and you are bored with her shtick. She is starting to look plain, unattractive and yucky.
Meanwhile, you have been looking at “Y” at the job, and she is kinda hot. “Y” does this, and “Y” does that, personally, you could deal with some more of that. Why, because you haven’t had any in awhile.
Now let’s introduce another number, we’ll call him 3. Mr. Three has jokes, big brown eyes and listens. He talks a good game and is attentive. The wife now looks forward to the mental stimulation and starts to dress better. The skirts get shorter and she starts looking more like her old self. If you were a fly on the wall at her job, when X and 3 are in the same room, you wouldn’t recognize X. The equation is now, 3 + X. There has been no coitus but mentally and spiritually she is there. If the relationship multiplied further and they became 3X, she would do things with him that you thought she would never do.
We each bring different things to the recipe. When the cake falls flat, it’s our fault. If it is to turn out right, you have to take responsibility for what is going on or not happening and fix it. We are more than what we demonstrate daily. You know there is a “hotter” you and a “hotter” her inside that has went dormant. Your mission if you are not a quitter is to recapture the castle, slay the dragon and win the princess inside.
It’s easy to forget. It’s even easier to quit. Don’t be another statistic. Winners Never Surrender.
I have heard that the difference between a grave and a rut are the ends. If you are in a rut with your marriage, don’t let it die. Don’t let dirt get on the ends as you lay there. You were an exciting, fun person to be around once. Don’t you remember? As a pastor, a husband and a father, I realize the importance of keeping my marriage healthy. It is not easy. Sometimes you don’t even like the person you live with. You still love them but something just ain’t right. The change is subtle. No one will notice right away. It is easy to let things slip. It is easy to take each other for granted. It is easy to wake up one day and think; I don’t want to be here anymore. It is easy to get bored in comparison to all that you see and think is going on in the world. But can I tell you something? People are not just the sum of their parts. I don’t like math but I discovered that Algebra best describes people.
Let’s put you in an imaginary equation. Your wife in her current state of being, moods and attitude is X. She “doesn’t like this, and she is tired of this…” and you are bored with her shtick. She is starting to look plain, unattractive and yucky.
Meanwhile, you have been looking at “Y” at the job, and she is kinda hot. “Y” does this, and “Y” does that, personally, you could deal with some more of that. Why, because you haven’t had any in awhile.
Now let’s introduce another number, we’ll call him 3. Mr. Three has jokes, big brown eyes and listens. He talks a good game and is attentive. The wife now looks forward to the mental stimulation and starts to dress better. The skirts get shorter and she starts looking more like her old self. If you were a fly on the wall at her job, when X and 3 are in the same room, you wouldn’t recognize X. The equation is now, 3 + X. There has been no coitus but mentally and spiritually she is there. If the relationship multiplied further and they became 3X, she would do things with him that you thought she would never do.
We each bring different things to the recipe. When the cake falls flat, it’s our fault. If it is to turn out right, you have to take responsibility for what is going on or not happening and fix it. We are more than what we demonstrate daily. You know there is a “hotter” you and a “hotter” her inside that has went dormant. Your mission if you are not a quitter is to recapture the castle, slay the dragon and win the princess inside.
It’s easy to forget. It’s even easier to quit. Don’t be another statistic. Winners Never Surrender.
With God, all things are possible.
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